You cannot wrap Christmas gifts worse than me

I think I’m pretty good at a lot of things, but there are some things I am really bad at.

Worst New York State high school basketball player in 1988 to 1990? — It’s a short list, but I’m on it.

I’m horrible at building things, or fixing them.

Driving directions are lost on me.

And I am the absolute worst at wrapping presents.

It literally starts at the beginning, as I’m not very good at cutting wrapping paper. It’s uneven, and that’s when it doesn’t flat-out rip.

I give myself a little bit of an excuse on that one, however, since even though I taught myself to cut right-handed years ago, I am left-handed.

And then once I get it cut, it’s highly unlikely it will be the right size. I tend to believe that if it’s good enough to do, it’s good enough to overdo (in an unrelated matter, this is why I don’t drink), so when in doubt, I use a lot more paper than I need.

But wait, there’s more! I have yet to master the subtleties of keeping the paper in place, grabbing tape and folding all at the same time with the two hands I was born with.

So let’s just say smooth edges aren’t exactly my thing.

So how does that make me different than a lot of other guys? (Let’s face it. Not every guy is lousy at wrapping presents, but I’d be willing to bet almost all lousy wrappers are guys.)

Simple … degree of difficulty.

Look at the finished product from this year’s wrapping. There’s nothing overly large, and it’s almost all rectangular and flat.

It should be easy, right? But I manage to make it look hard.

And that’s why I’m the worst.

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