What I love about “Love Actually”

I don’t usually go out of my way to watch Christmas movies or specials.

Except one.

I wasn’t watching “Sunday Night Football,” but the rest of my Sunday night would have been set regardless.

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Which way do I go?

The other night, I got an out-of-the-blue text from my buddy Mix inviting my wife and I over New Year’s Day.

Absolutely … it’ll be a great time. We’ll eat lots of food, watch hockey, crack jokes, make our wives cringe with how silly we can be.

And before I leave my house, I’ll do what I always do when going to Mix’s.

I’ll plug his address into the GPS on my phone.

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Black Friday bookstore

I do most of my Christmas shopping at the Mall of My iPad — open 24 hours, no traffic, no lines, no parking, no other people.

However, my mother-in-law likes to go with my wife the day after Thanksgiving, so my father-in-law and I joined in for the trip to the shopping plaza near their home in Connecticut.

They went off and did their thing; I hung out at the bookstore, mostly adding to my own list.

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All hail the mighty trombone!

I was going in and out of my nightly couch dozing when my wife said the magic words — “Bohemian Rhapsody” and “trombones.”

I think the last time I woke up so quickly was the one time she programmed “I Will Wait” by Mumford & Sons as the music for our alarm.

Note that I said “one time.” It turns out that 6 a.m. and high-speed banjos don’t mix very well.

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Thanksgiving dinner, revolutionized

“I like turkey, and I like ice cream, but I wouldn’t eat them together” was my reply to a coworker who said that under one certain circumstance, she might eat a turkey with flaming-hot Cheetos.

After all, she likes them both.

“You wouldn’t eat turkey with … chicken Parmesan …”

At this point, there was a weird energy in the room — the simultaneous thought among those seated nearby, “You know, that’s probably not the worst idea Bill has ever had.”

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Two things to keep off my menu

As I was tooling around Twitter the other day, I saw a post from Keeping it Karen where she shared her unpopular opinions.

There were 11 of them, and while I couldn’t get behind all of them — “Love Actually” is a great movie (and I hope to write about it before Christmas), and summer is much better than winter — there was one I agreed with wholeheartedly.

Coffee is overrated.

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I claim this machine in the name of …

The closest I’ve come to getting into an altercation at the gym was a couple months ago.

It was with one of those guys who thinks multiple machines in a public gym are reserved for his use, even if he’s not using one or, in this case, wandering about the gym between sets.

When I got on a machine he had been using, I could see him hovering nearby, and when he asked when I’d be done, I told him soon, but that the machine didn’t belong to him if he wasn’t using it.

He snapped back that he knew that (I call bull—t on that one); I replied somehow, and that was pretty much the end of it.

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And now, a few words on … toilet paper

My wife noticed this one this morning, because for some people, everything is a sales opportunity.

Don’t get any ideas; if this shows up under the tree at Christmas, you’re going to find out how soft it is when I bounce it off your head.

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And snow it begins

We’re getting a snowstorm tonight and into tomorrow morning.

It’s apparently already causing problems on its way to Massachusetts.

Awesome.

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