My blogging buddy Rosie has tagged me in the Vogue Parody 73 Questions Challenge, so now I will answer a series of questions about my life without cameras trailing me around my house, the streets of London or the All England Lawn Tennis & Croquet Club — where they will let Roger Federer walk on the grass, but don’t you dare ask.
That I can be annoying is as much in dispute as whether Tuesday follows Monday.
But don’t take my word for it. Ask my family.
Or my friends.
Or my co-workers.
Or my wife.
You could probably also get an explanation — I have a feeling this will come up more than once — but now there’s a way to determine it via … SCIENCE!
Start with a list of the “Most Exciting Incidental Things To Happen At A Sporting Event,” and pretty soon you’re down the rabbit hole.
Just on Deadspin, you can get rankings for soccer announcer cliches, times of day for fireworks, all 102 Winter Olympics medal events and “It’s A Wonderful Life” characters, among others.
So I decided to do a ranking of my own, specifically of places I’ve seen in my travels.
I couldn’t tell you name of the town now — I’m not sure I could have told you then, except I seem to recall they were building a casino — but we were driving through the mountains in Colorado, and we were lost.
My parents, brother and I were visiting my aunt and her husband on vacation and were on our way to … I believe, Vail. (Everything I’m writing here is from memory, which could be spotty.)
This was long before GPS days, so the only way to get directions was to find someplace to ask for directions, in this case, the first house we came across.
I manage to live consciously in the world, so I know it’s July, and I would even if I hadn’t gone to two fireworks shows over the holiday weekend.
But for some reason, a random glance across the kitchen at a calendar — I wasn’t looking for the date and wouldn’t have been able to see it even if I was — reminded me that it’s July.
Meaning it’s after June 30.
Meaning I missed my friend’s annual birthday email.
By a lot. Continue reading “A missed connection”
Of all the superpowers I could have, I think the one I wouldn’t want is superhuman strength.
Sure, it would be great for twisting the tops off of cans and lifting cars off small children, but my wife Suzi tells me all the time now that I don’t know my own strength, and I’m not all that strong.
So I’m afraid that if you combined superhuman strength, my occasional lack of self-awareness and general klutziness, it could be destructive.
As of about a month ago, it looks like Liz from Am I Thirty Yet was having just a little bit of culture shock moving from New York City to somewhere upstate.
Since I grew up in a little town upstate — I’m guessing fairly close to where she is now, although I don’t know where, since she refers to the Catskills — I found the post to be both funny and a little thought-provoking about the things you find normal but others find unusual.
For example, it wasn’t something I gave much thought to, and fortunately had little no experience with, but growing up, all I knew was volunteer firefighters, including several of my relatives.
But what are some of the things I’ve found different over the years, even little things, in the larger places I’ve lived in or gone since then?
When you’ve been married for a long time — for Suzi and I it will be 17 years later this month — disagreements are inevitable.
In our case, it’s mostly because she still doesn’t understand that I’m right all the time.
OK, most of the time.
OK, some of the time.
OK, on occasion I’m convinced I’m right … probably.
But I wasn’t expecting our domestic tranquility to be threatened by …
… a dancing chicken.
For July 4, nine opinion writers from the Washington Post wrote about things they wanted to celebrate.
They included block parties, the youth of our country, sacrifice in service of freedom and our country’s women athletes.
One of my favorite writers, Alyssa Rosenberg, was grateful for public swimming pools.
She’s no longer my manager, and our offices are now next to each other, but when I first moved to where I am at work, I used to walk across the room to tell my manager I was leaving for the day.
And frequently, 10, 15, 20 minutes later, she’d walk out of her office to find me still there … for the same reason I often told Suzi, “I would have been home sooner, but …”
… I was gabbing.