Maybe I’m not as ready as I thought

I woke up on the proverbial wrong side of the bed … and pretty much stayed there all day.

Our regular Wednesday trail walk did a little for my mood — when I wasn’t rolling up my sleeves and then pushing them down because I was alternately too hot or too cold — but it didn’t last very long.

I was moody, crabby, irritable, cranky … whatever words you like for someone who’s just a pain to be around.

Until whatever ballgame we were watching caused Suzi to start talking about Vladimir Guerrero Jr.

One of the early times I knew she was a keeper was when we were dating and had a lengthy discussion over the phone about the Yankees’ lineup in the playoffs, so talking about baseball is not unusual for her.

But when she talked about him as inspiration for one of the Sunday drives she wants to bring back now that the weather is (usually) better, I got really confused, because although Vlad Jr. is a prodigious young talent who’s a lot of fun to watch, he’s playing in Dunedin, Florida, these days because his Blue Jays can’t play in Toronto, and that’s a bit too long of a drive.

However, after this week’s planned excursion to South Hadley and next week’s to Narragansett, Manchester, New Hampshire, is only an hour away, their baseball team, the Fisher Cats, are at home, and they’re even playing the Somerset Patriots, who are affiliated with my Yankees.

So what does that have to do with Vladimir Guerrero Jr.? Easy … we saw him play there a few years ago, when he was already too good for the league as a 19-year-old.

Sure, it was kind of a circuitous route, but I certainly liked the destination.

Vladimir G

Last May, when I took part in a project to imagine the first weekend after quarantine (which later launched a page on this blog about post-quarantine life), I wrote about Suzi and I taking a trip to see our parents for the first time in a long time.

Fortunately, we’ve been able to do that, even though we only got our first vaccination shots last week. We’ve also eaten a few times in restaurants, and I’ve gone back to playing pickleball and have seen my pal Mix several times — all of it as safely as possible, of course.

Of the other activities I mentioned in the post, we haven’t gone back to the gym yet, although we’ve talked about it …

… and we haven’t gone to a baseball game.

As I ponder the relatively near future, the next milestones I’ve been looking forward to are our second shots in a couple weeks, followed by being fully vaccinated a few days before my birthday, when my parents are coming to our house and we can all be together without masks.

And there’s going to a baseball game. I figured it was more likely to be early June in Worcester, but whenever and wherever it is, I’m not sure I’ll be able to contain myself when it happens because I’ll finally be able to do one of the things I love the most again.

Rockefeller Center

Living in Massachusetts, the announcement of the latest reopening plans the other day got my attention, starting with easing outdoor mask requirements and culminating with full reopening Aug. 1.

It’s gradual, step-by-step, a way to ease back into “normal” life.

Even though the baseball game, if we go, is in New Hampshire, it’s also not barreling ahead into pre-pandemic days. We’ll have to wear masks when we enter or move around the park and maintain social distance while standing in line or moving around.

And if that’s what it takes to go to a game right now, that’s fine by me.

But I was startled by my reaction when I read that New York City was planning to fully reopen July 1.

I’ve never thought of myself as the type who would have trouble reengaging with the world once restrictions were lifted. After all, by that time, we will have been building up to it for months.

Yet even though I had long decided I wouldn’t go back to New York if it couldn’t be its full, loud, crowded, overwhelming, overly stimulating self, my first thought wasn’t “Great! Now we can go back!” Instead, it was, “Oh God … I’m not sure I want to do that right away … all those people out and about without restrictions?”

But then I remembered … this is why I was so excited to get vaccinated, because it’s a step closer to all the things I want to do.

Well … that and my chances of getting sick and dying from COVID falling to almost nothing.

I actually don’t know when we’ll get back to New York. We like to go to shows when we’re there, but Broadway probably won’t reopen until September, so it may not be until later this year or sometime next spring.

I have learned, however, that the readjustment back to regular life may be harder than I thought.





8 thoughts on “Maybe I’m not as ready as I thought

  1. I think we both just wrote the same blog post! Yours is more considered than mine, but we’re saying the same thing. We will get back out there but it’s like we’ve got Stockholm syndrome for lockdown. Feeling safe us good, stepping out of safety is a bit daunting.

    Liked by 1 person

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  4. I’m with you. I can imagine small normalcies and have enjoyed lesser stress when seeing my parents or going to the grocery store now that I’m fully vaccinated. I don’t mind going out to eat. However, I’m hesitant about airports and bigger cities and know that I’ll feel uncomfortable, at least for a while.

    Can’t wait to catch a game, though.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. If all goes well, the game is this weekend!

      The way I’m looking at it, even if I’m not ready right away (and I just wrote about getting my second shot this morning), at least I can work up to that point.

      Liked by 1 person

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