I couldn’t remember the company (DirectTV) or how long ago it was (2002) until I searched for it, but I remember finding it strange that the woman whose husband told her he “finished” the internet didn’t seem especially fazed.
After all, even before I knew what Rule 34 was, I had at least heard that there was some … interesting … stuff online.
So if our dude finished the internet, he had seen some stuff.
But now I see that the internet may be finished with us, at least if the signs around Seattle saying that the internet ends today — I guess on account of today’s date being the eight-digit palindrome 12/02/2021 — are true.
For what little I know, this post never actually happened, and just exists in a netherworld where no one actually reads it, although to be fair, that has happened with plenty of posts while the internet was hale and healthy.
However, what if we are in our last minutes and hours before all of this goes kaboom?
Sure, all the crap that goes along with the internet is no more — a**holes will have to be a**holes in person instead of social media — but we’d have to physically look up things to do research, including looking through books or something.
Speaking of which, I’d have to get actual books instead of loading them onto my Kindle. I’m not anti-hard copies; I just like the convenience of the Kindle better.
What would become of streaming, or “rare footage” of Johan Cruyff doing Johan Cruyff things?
I tell you what would become of them. You’d better have a videotape, or maybe a DVD.
Come to think of it, maybe this whole “ending the internet” thing is a move by Big Videotape and Big DVD to get back their market share.
I’d actually have to leave the house to do all my Christmas shopping. I shudder at the thought.
And I don’t even want to contemplate work without the internet. I used to do it … over 20 years ago. I’m not sure I could go back.
Of course, I’m sure there are those misguided souls (to put it kindly) who will approach the news of the internet’s impending demise with a “smoke’-em-if-you-got-‘em” mentality, since there won’t be any record of what they do … right?
After all, no one would store such things after the internet was gone … right?
Or — and hear me out on this one — the internet isn’t going to disappear today, so I’d recommend not doing any really freaky or criminal stuff.