The Captain’s Quiz 3: The Escape Quiz

Paul from The Captain’s Speech has created a game where only he can define success or failure based on standards that only he sets and which can change from moment to moment.

Basically, he’s like a home-plate umpire in Major League Baseball, although I have a plan to change that (the umpiring, not Paul, and that, dear readers, is called foreshadowing).

Giggles from No Love for Fatties has won the first two quizzes, and while I have no idea whether I can break her Nadal-at-Roland-Garros-like stranglehold on the top spot — and she has no idea if she can keep it, since it’s solely up to what answers tickle Paul’s fancy — I figured it would be fun to give it a go.

So without further ado … it’s time to play the game.


1. You and a stranger are stuck in an elevator for three hours. After how many minutes would you tell them your name?

Do people actually talk to strangers on elevators, other than to ask them to push the button for their floor?

That being said, if it doesn’t happen in five to 10 minutes, it’s not going to happen (and not just because a former coworker described the black elevator doors in the above picture as being a gateway into a hellmouth).

The first thing that will happen is that the elevator will get stuck, followed by the initial reaction of “Oh crap, the elevator’s stuck.”

What to do? Be calm, call the front desk and tell them. Then call or text people who may be expecting me to inform them.

At this point, I might still be fairly calm, and the possibility exists that I might tell my elevator-mate “Hey … isn’t this something? I’m Bill, by the way.”

But if it lasts much longer, the frustration and cursing will probably start, and by the time three hours rolls around, the other person will probably want to pry open the doors and jump down the elevator shaft to get away from me.

2. You’re the first person to enter the movie theatre. Which seat do you choose and why?

A little more than halfway up, in the middle, unless I’m worried everyone in the theater will cluster around me, in which case I’ll be looking to see if the seats on the sides are in ones and twos.

3. If you were to navigate a giant maze with one celebrity, who would it be and why do you think you’d work well together?

Daniel Craig, because I’d hope he picked up some real-life skills from playing 007.

And if that doesn’t work, at least we can chat about James Bond and our shared love of Liverpool.

There’s no chance he’d feel like he was trapped on an elevator with me … right?

4. Eggs can be cooked in many different ways. Pick one and build a meal around it. What is included in that meal?

The eggs would be scrambled, because that’s the only way I eat eggs. (I also eat them with ketchup, and scrambled eggs are the only dish that I put pepper on.)

I’d eat them with sausage — preferably patty, but link will do — and either toast or an English muffin. If hash browns or home fries also show up, I wouldn’t object.

5. Select the task you’d be able to complete the fastest and explain why:
A) Blow up (with your mouth) and tie 3 balloons
B) Pop 150 balloons with a thumbtack

Pop the 150 balloons. In general, I’m better at destroying than building, but I’ve always struggled tying up the ends of the balloons after inflating them.

6. Comedians in Cars Getting Coffee is a talk show hosted by Jerry Seinfeld. Using the same format for the title (Ex. Poodles on Patios Getting Crumbs), what would be the name of your talk show?

“Bloggers on Bikes Getting Baked Goods”

7. Arthur is an animated educational television series for children. What are 5 television shows you watched as a child?

”Batman,” “Tom & Jerry,” “Super Friends,” “TV Tournament Time” (a local bowling show) “The Professional Bowlers Tour”

Yes, I was a big bowling fan as a kid, and I have a thought or two on it today, as well. (That’s more of that foreshadowing stuff.)

8. Pillows provide support and help keep our upper body aligned during sleep. What is the strangest place you’ve ever fallen asleep? Tell the story, if there is one.

I fall asleep easily, but can’t think of any strange places I’ve fallen asleep.

It’s not all that strange to doze off in class (or so I’ve heard), but the one time I did was in science class in high school. The last thing I remember the teacher having said was “interface,” so I tried to repeat it after I snapped to when he called on me.

I did not, however, say “interface.”

Laughter resulted.

9. “Everybody Wants to Rule the World” is a song by the band, Tears for Fears. If you could be in charge of anything, what would it be?

Sports, and there would be many changes, including, to start:

  • Electronic strike zones
  • The NHL returning to Quebec City and Hartford
  • Requiring all bowling to be one-handed. (Kyle Troup seems like a cool dude, but I’m sorry, what he and his two-handed cohorts do is not bowling … it’s flinging.)

10. Your closet is a portal to a new “location” (think: wardrobe to Narnia), where does it lead to? What do you see?

At this point, does it really matter where it leads to or what we see, as long as it’s not where we’ve been the last 15 months? (But it would be the finest cities in Europe.)


1. Please enter the correct 6-digit passcode to successfully escape this quiz.


19 thoughts on “The Captain’s Quiz 3: The Escape Quiz

  1. Wow! I just answered 4 questions on my blog and felt I’d revealed enough about myself, so 10 questions might be bit much for me. Still you did great with your answers and I hope you win– if’n winning is something you want to do, of course.

    Liked by 1 person

      1. You win by Paul deciding you have the best answers, but only he know his criteria, and he’s not telling. 🙂

        I’d probably still go with Sean Connery, although Craig is right up there. It hurts him that I didn’t think “Quantum of Solace” was a particularly good movie, although not because of anything he did wrong.


    1. Thank you! I’m sure some people will find it weird, but I’m glad there’s at least one other ketchup-on-scrambled-eggs person out there! 🙂


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