Even though I’m searching for a calendar with “Never” to go along with January, February, March, etc., so I can make plans for the 12th, I’m always interested in reading about what will happen when … you know … is done.
And I’ve had a thing or two to say about it.
So when I see an article titled “11 Supposedly Fun Things We’ll Never Do The Same Way Again,” I’m going to notice.
So what are these 11 things? Let’s take a look!
Blowing out the candles on your cake — Out of an abundance of caution, my parents didn’t come to our house for my birthday in May (we celebrated over video on Facebook), but if it’s ever safe enough for them to come, I’m going to assume it’s safe enough to blow out my candles.
Taking a drag from a friend’s vape — I don’t do this, anyway, but this is a thing people do? That seems kind of gross to me.
Letting your kid jump into a ball pit — I don’t have kids, and at 48, it would probably be bad form for me, even as much as I like water slides.
Getting a quick after-work makeover — The closest I get to makeovers is getting a haircut, and I’ve already done that twice.
Fumbling around an escape room — Not a thing I do now, but there’s another opinion I’m curious to hear about on this one.
Bumping elbows at a loud, crowded bar — When was the last time I was in a loud, crowded bar (even if it was one that literally had my name on it)? Thinking … thinking …
Plunging a handful of straws into a giant party cocktail — I have never, ever done this in my life … not once.
Hosting a poker game or Settlers of Catan night — I don’t play poker, and I don’t even know what Settlers of Catan is. Basically, I’m not a cards or board game guy.
Passing the microphone at karaoke — I don’t pass them … I drop them. (Actually, I don’t do karaoke at all.)
Shopping aimlessly — I’ve already done this, although at a bookstore, not a mall.
Shaking hands, hugging a friend, kissing a cheek — It all depends on the other person’s willingness, of course, but I’m going to want to do these at some point, whenever that may be.
So … basically it was a list of things I may not be able to do … that I don’t do anyway.
Come back to me when you’re talking about going back to concerts, or ballgames or … anywhere else.