Even though I’m searching for a calendar with “Never” to go along with January, February, March, etc., so I can make plans for the 12th, I’m always interested in reading about what will happen when … you know … is done.
And I’ve had a thing or two to say about it.
So when I see an article titled “11 Supposedly Fun Things We’ll Never Do The Same Way Again,” I’m going to notice.
So what are these 11 things? Let’s take a look!
Blowing out the candles on your cake — Out of an abundance of caution, my parents didn’t come to our house for my birthday in May (we celebrated over video on Facebook), but if it’s ever safe enough for them to come, I’m going to assume it’s safe enough to blow out my candles.
Taking a drag from a friend’s vape — I don’t do this, anyway, but this is a thing people do? That seems kind of gross to me.
Letting your kid jump into a ball pit — I don’t have kids, and at 48, it would probably be bad form for me, even as much as I like water slides.
Getting a quick after-work makeover — The closest I get to makeovers is getting a haircut, and I’ve already done that twice.
Fumbling around an escape room — Not a thing I do now, but there’s another opinion I’m curious to hear about on this one.
Bumping elbows at a loud, crowded bar — When was the last time I was in a loud, crowded bar (even if it was one that literally had my name on it)? Thinking … thinking …
Plunging a handful of straws into a giant party cocktail — I have never, ever done this in my life … not once.
Hosting a poker game or Settlers of Catan night — I don’t play poker, and I don’t even know what Settlers of Catan is. Basically, I’m not a cards or board game guy.
Passing the microphone at karaoke — I don’t pass them … I drop them. (Actually, I don’t do karaoke at all.)
Shopping aimlessly — I’ve already done this, although at a bookstore, not a mall.
Shaking hands, hugging a friend, kissing a cheek — It all depends on the other person’s willingness, of course, but I’m going to want to do these at some point, whenever that may be.
So … basically it was a list of things I may not be able to do … that I don’t do anyway.
Come back to me when you’re talking about going back to concerts, or ballgames or … anywhere else.
A Silly Place 
Concerts. That’s what I miss!
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I bumped into a friend the other day, we would usually kiss cheeks and hug and it felt so strange not to. I miss hugs.
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I’ve been the same way the few times I’ve seen friends.
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I’m getting used to watching baseball games in empty stadiums in a sad, but sort of comfortable, way. I will give the Orioles credit … they also air some beloved between-innings scoreboard games like the “Crab Shuffle” and the “Hot Dog Race” during the games. It’s peculiar to see those things and hear their instantly recognizable jingles while sitting in my house — and the cats seem a bit perplexed to hear me yelling “Relish” while Randy yells for “Mustard” during the hot dog race. It’s not perfect, but it is better than nothing, I guess.
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Between all the sports I watch, I’m getting so used to empty stands that it’s getting jarring to see highlights with fans.
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I just miss doing things without having to think twice or turn it into a big production. I miss being able to swing by the grocery store on my way home from work. Now, I need to take so many things into factor: Do I have my mask? Will there be a line to get in? Then coming home, I have to scrub my hands and change all my clothes before I can comfortably relax.
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