It’s that time of year again.
Actually, it’s not “that time” until Thanksgiving, but I’m used to the early arrival of egg nog in the store to the point where I can note it and swat it aside for now.
I just remind myself to be patient until we make the actual turn toward Christmas, at which point I will start guzzling it like there’s no tomorrow.
However, my last trip to the grocery store introduced a new offering that was a potential game-changer, something which had the potential to upend my entire one-holiday-at-a-time edifice.
For I saw …
… pumpkin egg nog.
I love me some pumpkin — pumpkin pie, pumpkin bread, sometimes pumpkin muffins or doughnuts this time of year — and I can imagine it would be good in egg nog.
Sure, it might be so sweet as to turn some people off, but as someone who doesn’t believe anything I eat or drink can be “too sweet,” that wouldn’t bother me.
But more importantly, I’m willing to get my pumpkin on 12 months a year.
Given the Pumpkin Spice-industrial complex, I shouldn’t have been surprised, plus anything good has to be sliced and diced into as many varieties as possible.
After all, next to the pumpkin egg nog was Southern Comfort egg nog, which since it didn’t contain alcohol, must exist as a brand only to sway people into adding the company’s booze. (I don’t drink, and take my egg nog straight.)
Plus, do you remember when you could go into the cookie aisle to buy … Oreos? Just Oreos — two black wafers, layer of white filling, staple of my father’s lunches for decades.
Now you can buy the following types of Oreos: birthday cake, carrot cake, mint (when will people realize that mint tastes like toothpaste and should not be a flavor of anything?!), latte creme thins, peanut butter, chocolate, chocolate peanut butter pie, dark chocolate, golden, Double Stuf, Golden Double Stuf, Mega Stuff and lemon.
There are also regular Oreos in there if someone wants to dig for them.
But I don’t think it’s that simple.
Oh no, Big Nog is up to something, and I think I’ve figured it out.
They already have the egg nog obsessives, the ones who will stock up the moment it hits the shelves, the ones who are already listening to Christmas music (you know who you are).
What they don’t have are the hard-core traditionalists, the ones who turn up their noses at the thought of indulging before the time is right. (It can’t be just me, right? OK, so maybe it is just me.)
So they add fancy flavors like pumpkin, the Sirens of the milk section singing songs of sweetness, hoping the ships of our resolve round run aground on their rocks of great taste.
And it’s “limited edition,” so in other words, if you don’t get it now, you may never get it.
See you at Thanksgiving.
And if pumpkin egg nog is still in the stores and someone wants to get one, that would be cool.