Five jobs I’d like to have

From the time I was a teenager, if not earlier, I knew I wanted to be a sports play-by-play announcer when I grew up.

I loved sports. I loved talking. I loved talking about sports, and I knew that someday I’d be able to do it better than the guys I was watching on TV.

I majored in radio/TV in college, worked at the radio station and did play-by-play for basketball games.

My career went in a different direction, but is it something I still fantasize about? Of course.

I got tagged by Sharon to list five jobs I wish I had. Although being a play-by-play man was something I once hoped to make a reality, the remaining four are strictly fantasy.

First baseman for the New York Yankees — The only thing stopping me from being a professional athlete — well, in addition to being in my mid-40s — is a complete lack of ability, but I played first base through high school, the Yankees are my favorite team and Don Mattingly was my favorite player.

Songwriter — This isn’t so much a “job I wish I had” as a “job that leaves me mystified.”

I have written professionally, and obviously, based on what you’re reading, I write for fun. I’ll never be within 1,000 miles of someone like Charlie Pierce on his worst day and my best, but I understand the concepts of putting thoughts and words together in prose.

But when I hear a great song, in addition to whatever feelings it stirs within me, I wonder how a mind or minds could be so creative as to put together the words and the music. My brain literally doesn’t work that way.

Rick Steves — Obviously, “being Rick Steves” isn’t a job unless you’re … Rick Steves … but the dude spends his time traveling through the great cities of Europe to produce TV shows, guidebooks and whatever else.

Sounds like fun to me.

Supreme Ruler of the World — The world would be a lot better place if I had absolute power and everyone just did what I said at all times.

But don’t worry, I would be a benevolent despot. As long as everyone remembered the “despot” part, I would do my best to remember the “benevolent” part.