How to be the “early bird that gets the worm”

Once upon a time, I thought I got up early because I hate having to roll out of bed and immediately start getting ready for work.

But after reading “You Make Or Break Your Life Between 5–7 AM” by Benjamin Hardy on Thrive Global, I now understand I am 87.5 percent of the way to dominating the world!

“The purpose of a morning routine is to stop the repeating past. It’s to put yourself in a position of growth and development so that you have a new and consciously-developing future — one that you are writing the script to, regardless of what has happened in the past.”

Since I’m a giver, I’m going to share with you my morning routine, so you can kick a– and take names just like I do. (By the way, this only applies to weekdays. I’m not much of an a–kicker on the weekends.)

5:15 a.m. — Alarm rings. This is why I’m only 87.5 percent of the way to domination, as I’m spending one-eighth of the time between 5 and 7 a.m. still in bed.

And because crushing life doesn’t allow for such silly things as sleep, a lot of nights I’ve only gone to bed five or six hours before. Just set aside that lying down to stretch out usually makes me doze off and sometimes I’m so tired I start to fall asleep sitting up.

5:16 to 5:20 a.m. (approx.) — Bathroom

5:20ish to 6 a.m. — I fill my waking mind with the wisdom of my social media.

But proper devotion requires multiple streams of consciousness-raising activity, so I accompany Twitter’s teachings through the brain-enhancing lessons of “the local news” or “sports highlights” on TV.

6 to 6:30 a.m. — Shower, shave, brush teeth. If cleanliness is next to godliness, I’m sure that cleaning was going on early in the morning.

Plus I make the bed when I get out of the shower.

6:30 to 7 a.m. — About every other morning, I load the dishwasher. Not to brag, but I am great at loading the dishwasher, although not always so great about loading it before the kitchen sink overflows with dishes.

When I’m not doing dishes, I read the Boston Globe and New York Times to learn about what’s happening in the world … OK … mostly the sports world … and some columnists I like.

7 a.m. — Take my fish oil pill — because a body must be properly lubricated to dominate — and eat breakfast. I used to eat closer to 5:30, but eating later helps me resist the urge to snack at work in the morning.

Armed with this knowledge, now you can go show the world what you’re made of … right?

“Waking up at 5AM isn’t enough, then, if you wake up at that time and you start yourself down a non-optimal path.

First things should come first.

Some things are good, other things are better, and other things are best.”

OK, maybe not.

Pro tip: Do not use “I Will Wait” by Mumford & Sons as your alarm music. Right now, I wake up to the sound of chimes from the Amazon Alexa in our bedroom. The photo is by Benjamin Voros on Unsplash.