Thanksgiving dinner, revolutionized

“I like turkey, and I like ice cream, but I wouldn’t eat them together” was my reply to a coworker who said that under one certain circumstance, she might eat a turkey with flaming-hot Cheetos.

After all, she likes them both.

“You wouldn’t eat turkey with … chicken Parmesan …”

At this point, there was a weird energy in the room — the simultaneous thought among those seated nearby, “You know, that’s probably not the worst idea Bill has ever had.”

(As for what was the worst, that was probably my idea to use my in-laws’ address to sneak into the Nutmeg State Games pickleball tournament. We all get the same emails, and I’m the office pickleball enthusiast.

“They’d probably call it ‘Picklegate,'” Ms. Turkey With Cheetos said of the scandal that would result, bitter at the cliche of it all, and probably wishing I had stayed in my office instead of deciding I wanted to be around other people this afternoon.)

Since we all agreed turkey with chicken parm was brilliant, we had to work out logistics. For one, I would perhaps not recommend using an electric slicer, not unless you like sauce and cheese flying everywhere.

What about pasta? You can’t have chicken parm without the pasta, but do you want to include it in the stuffing?

From across the room came the solution — eating the parm-stuffed turkey on a bed of pasta.

Now our brilliant creation needed a name — and there is was from a few desks away …

… turparmen.

Turparmen! Of course! Turparmen!

To the internet I went, hoping no one had beaten us to the idea. I found recipes for turkey parm, and recipes for stuffed chicken parm, but none for turkey stuffed with chicken parm.

We’re gonna be rich!

The graphic of the family above — presumably with no turparmen in sight, is from LillyCantabile on Pixabay.

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