And now, a few words on … toilet paper

My wife noticed this one this morning, because for some people, everything is a sales opportunity.

Don’t get any ideas; if this shows up under the tree at Christmas, you’re going to find out how soft it is when I bounce it off your head.

Which, if this customer is to be believed, might be a problem.

You know who could might be able to use some good toilet paper? People who have a problem with farting during big darts matches.

Gary Anderson of Scotland and the Dutchman Wesley Harms blamed each other for “rotten” farts during their clash in the Gland Slam of Darts.

Anderson, who has twice been the world champion, won the match 10-2 to earn a place in the quarter-finals of the competition. But in a post-match interview Harms said his poor form was due to Anderson breaking wind on stage and leaving a “fragrant smell”. …

When Anderson in turn laid the blame at Harms’s door, the Dutchman responded: “If the boy [Anderson] thinks I’ve farted he’s 1010% wrong. I swear on my children’s lives that it was not my fault. I had a bad stomach once on stage before and admitted it. So I’m not going to lie about farting on stage.”

And they’re apparently not the only athletes raising a stink, if you will.

A Swedish footballer has hit out after being sent off for breaking wind during a match – with the referee accusing him of “deliberate provocation” and “unsportsmanlike behaviour”.

Adam Lindin Ljungkvist, who was playing at left-back in the match between Järna SK’s reserve team and Pershagen SK, was shown a second yellow card late on in what local media called “bizarre circumstances”.

“I had a bad stomach, so I simply let go,” the 25-year-old told Länstidningen Södertälje. “Then I received two yellow cards and then red. Yes, I was shocked, it’s the strangest thing I have ever experienced in football. ,,,

The referee, Dany Kako, confirmed that Ljungkvist had received the second yellow card for breaking wind, explaining: “I perceived it as deliberate provocation. He did it on purpose and it was inappropriate. Therefore, he received a yellow card.”

By the way, in case you were wondering — and let’s face it, if you’ve made it this far, you’re well down the rabbit hole — over is the only proper way to put the toilet paper on the roll.

This is probably the last thing he expected it to be used for, but the picture at the top is by Michael Jasmund on Unsplash

8 thoughts on “And now, a few words on … toilet paper

  1. Pingback: You’ve got to be s—-ing me – A Silly Place

  2. Pingback: My favorite blog posts of 2018 – A Silly Place

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s