No, ‘normal left-hander’ is not an oxymoron

One of my former college professors posted a link on Facebook titled “Here Are 11 Little Known Facts About Left-Handed People. The Last One Surprised Me!

She’s left-handed, had a left-handed parent, two left-handed children and a left-handed husband, so finding the right scissors shouldn’t have been hard in that household. I imagine they were handed down like precious family heirlooms.

I can’t claim that, but being left-handed is one of the reasons people look at me funny on the pickleball court. (Yes, I know my forehand is in a weird place, and my shots spin backwards, but everyone is older than me; have they not seen a left-hander before?)

So naturally, I clicked to see how many of these fit me.

1. Left-handed people are able to see underwater better than their right-handed counterparts. — I can barely go underwater, and haven’t worn a swim mask in years, so I’d have no way of knowing.

2. Osama bin Laden, Jack the Ripper and The Boston Strangler were all left-handed. —That whole “‘sinister’ is Latin for ‘left’” thing. But also, who recorded that for posterity? There’s probably not a lot of footage of them writing, unlike, for instance, Dale Earnhardt Jr. signing autographs.

3. The left- handed are more likely to suffer insomnia. — I don’t sleep a lot, but have no trouble falling asleep, so, no.

4. The longest words that can be typed using just the left hand are sweater, dresses, tesserae and decades. — I’ll take their word for it.

5. Lefties have worse asthma and allergies than right-handed people. — I have neither.

6. 30 million Americans are left-handed. — I’ve heard it’s about 10 percent of the population, so this basically works.

7. Lefties tend to be better at architecture. — I have zero talent for architecture.

8. Lefties are more linguistically talented. — I’d like to think I am.

9. Women over 40 are considerably more likely to have left-handed children. — My mother was considerably younger than that, my wife is right-handed, we have no children and I’m a guy.

10. Left-handed college graduates tend to become wealthier than their right-handed counterparts. — That can start any day now.

11. 4 of 7 recent presidents are left-handed. — “Fonda 2020: He’s in his right mind!” (An ancient totem of left-handedness is “If the left side of the brain controls the right side of the body and the right side controls the left side, left-handlers are the only people in their right minds.” We have to make ourselves feel better however we can.)

I knew Presidents Barack Obama, George H.W. Bush and Bill Clinton are left-handed, so this isn’t that much of a surprise. I didn’t know about President Ronald Reagan, or President Gerald Ford before him.

The link is pre-President Donald Trump, but in case you were wondering, he’s right-handed.

 

 

 

 

 

 

One thought on “No, ‘normal left-hander’ is not an oxymoron

  1. Pingback: The week gone by — Jan. 24 – A Silly Place

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