It hit me during the barrage of pharmaceutical ads I saw over the weekend … maybe the one where people were salsa dancing for some reason.
If sports were marketed like drugs for your heart, diabetes, restless leg syndrome or whatever, the benefits would be fun, a chance to get away from real life, hours of entertainment and fellowship with your fellow fans or participants.
Of course, all drugs have side effects, and one of those would be white-hot irrational rage.
Now that the effects of the drug have worn off, I can say coolly and rationally that Loris Karius has never seemed like a good keeper since he arrived at Liverpool, that his inexcusable blunders handed Real Madrid the Champions League final and that I would prefer Liverpool have a different keeper next season.
Under the influence of the drug, I screamed at my television (it still hasn’t responded yet) about how Karius is the dirt worst keeper in the world, that he should be shot into the surface of the sun and how if he’s still Liverpool’s keeper at the start of next season, all decision-makers at Liverpool should be sacked.
These drug-induced fits also include going on Twitter, flailing about wildly, as if looking for something to hit, in the hopes that people will join the rampage or come at me so they feel my wrath. (However, death threats or wishing him cancer is a bridge too far. “Shooting someone into the surface of the sun” is a physical impossibility.)
Except for maybe politics, is there anything other than sports that causes this? I don’t like Lena Dunham, but I wouldn’t scream at my TV while watching “Girls.” If Ed Sheeran comes on the radio, I just change the channel.
I don’t even hate-watch or hate-read that much. Why intentionally do something that makes me angry?
But it wasn’t until after the game that I realized how much the drug made me go around the bend.
I’m not the one who has to deal with losing a Champions League final. He is, and Liverpool is. It’s their livelihoods; it’s my entertainment.
You know what I did after the game? I went to an early birthday dinner with my wife and parents and opened presents.
So I’m basically calm now. The drug wore off. I’d rather not see Karius in goal for Liverpool again, but I’m not going to stop rooting for them if he is, and no one will get fired for it.
But I also know that tomorrow, back at work, one of my coworkers is going to ask me about it, and that little bit of the drug will set me off again. I think it will wear off quickly, though.
Just don’t expect me to start salsa dancing.
A Silly Place 
It is hard to keep our entertainment in proper perspective. It’s a year-round challenge. Great post.
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Thanks! Believe me … it’s a challenge I often fail to meet!
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You know you are preaching to the choir with this post , right? Sports is very much a drug and it’s addictive just like alcohol and other drugs are. The hockey playoffs are on as well as baseball season and being the sports diva that I am oh yeah I go crazy. (Not into the basketball playoffs because my Celtics got eliminated )My landlady and her mother say they know when I’m home because I’m yelling at my TV or radio when ever a game is on. I even talk back to the radio whenever one of the many sports talk shows are on, and a couple of times, I’ve called in and voiceD my opinion. Is sports like a drug? Oh you bet it is.
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I am not a sports fan. In fact I have to leave the room when a game comes on and my husband is watching because his behavior changes .. like Dr. Jeckel and Mr. Hyde – or is it the other way. Entertaing post 🙂
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Thanks for this post – my husband (and of course my whole family) are Man Utd supporters. In their recent loss to Liverpool he was livid! I said to him – I don’t understand why you get so wound up – I’m going to stop you watching it if this continues (as if!!!). So interesting.
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Annette, your husband is like me whenever my teams loose. I act like a fool.
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It was truely horrible how fans reacted to Karius’s blunder’s on social media etc. No trophy is valued above a person’s life after all. If it happened to De Gea, it can happen to anyone. We just need to understand that the players are human too and they also have emotions.
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And that’s just it. Sports fans don’t look at it like “he’s human, we all make mistakes”. Especially here in the United States and Canada too, if it’s hockey, we’ll talk about how much money the athlete is being paid to pay his position , like that money is coming out of OUR paychecks or something. We forget that the player has a family that he has to take care of too. They have lives. It just shows that people take their sports extremely seriously . Maybe a little too seriously .
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