A primer to being an enemy fan

Yeah, some people are going to have a rough next 10 days or so.

Welcome to my world.

The good news for Eagles fans near Boston whose existence is denied when it’s not being insulted  (Kevin Cullen being a notable exception, to a point) is that it will all be over soon.

As for the vitriol, you can always cut it off at the pass by going all Trolly McTrollerson.

Name withheld because I don’t want to see my friend get his butt kicked.

If that’s not what you’re into, consider the source. If it’s a friend, laugh it off, maybe take a good-natured shot back.

If anyone asks, “How can you be an Eagles fan when you live in Massachusetts?” you have my permission to be as condescending you want in your answer, up to and including a snotty, “Would YOU become an Eagles fan if you moved to Philadelphia?” The reaction to this (acting like it’s the most-shocking, dumbest thing they’ve ever heard) will be priceless.

If it’s a stranger, screw them. I’ll bet my house they think they’re being clever.

But there’s only one sure-fire way to deal with Patriots fans, and you’ll need some help.

Simply put, the Eagles have to win the Super Bowl.

If the Patriots win, life is going to suck for a little while. That’s how it goes. Just put your head down until the day after the parade.

If the Eagles win, however, you own all of them. You can gloat, brag, wear your Eagles jersey and carry a giant cheesesteak in the Esplenade while playing the “Rocky” theme at full volume.

And if you don’t want to do it alone, I’ll hook you up with my boy Poopsie. I can assure you his troll game is strong.


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